My Prosperous World

Isn’t it interesting how many times people are given unfair labels just because they are dating. For example, a girl who is being cautious and safe is called “frigid”. A man who is being pro-active is called a “player”. All they want to do though, is find and date partners at their own pace.

These types of label are many and varied and they are a problem. They make you feel like you need to justify your dating decisions. It can go further than that too. They can change your decision making process putting you in situations you don’t want to be in. They can put you off dating altogether.

The label “player” is coming up quite frequently at the moment. Its typically used to describe a man who dates many women and discusses his dates with other men. That is what this article is about.

I find it very strange that a man who is open to discussing his romantic life, with the intent of learning and improving himself, is labelled a player.

There are different rules for men and women in this regard. It is very acceptable for women to gather and discuss their relationships, learning from each other and offering advice. There are groups of men who do the same, but its very rare and always deliberate. Its not a natural state of affairs for men to gather and communicate like this.

What this means is that women are afforded the luxury of learning about men and dating, through the sharing of experience. Comparatively, men are not. Men by and large must learn as individuals, from their own mistakes.

I believe there are two factors which contribute to this. Firstly, men are pressured by women along the lines of “a gentleman never kisses and tells”. This expectation exists and is held dear by all the women who are quite happy to meet their friends and discuss even the most intimate details of all their experiences. There really is a lack of balance here. Secondly, men are often very competitive among themselves, particularly when it comes to women. This causes meaningless banter and bravado when they’d be better served with honest communication and the exchanging of ideas.

This causes a big issue in our society today. If you, as a man, actively pursue learning and self improvement in the romantic part of your life, you will create a more harmonious and enjoyable experience for yourself AND the women you are dating. This is a good thing. If being called a player is a barrier to this (ie. it makes you feel uncomfortable about sharing your experiences with other me and/or looking for advice), it becomes a inhibitor to your happiness and the happiness of the women you date. That cannot be good!

So, if you are a single man, you probably know already what I mean. If you are interested in self improvement, particularly when it comes to meeting and dating, you are not a player so don’t be afraid. Just find some other men who are already doing this and all will be fine. There are communities of men who are doing this already and have joined together specifically to improve themselves in this manner. The key to this though is to always do it in a manner that is compassionate to the women you are dating.

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